In the booth, in the back, in the corner, in the dark...

My mom watches a lot of the Discovery Health channel. Hospital ER dramas, delivery room dramas, "big" medicine, ... all sorts of stuff like that. We don't even blink any more at seeing blood splashed all over the TV screen... and then it goes straight into a cooking show.

One thing I'll never get used to though is the all the diet pills ("only for those serious about wanting to lose body fat"). Who knew there were even that many weight loss supplements on the market? They use various euphemisms to describe why someone might have become overweight. "Adrenal fatigue", a "shortage of weight burning enzymes".... anything but "You sit on your butt all day behind your desk snacking on sweets and starchy foods and then hit the drive thru at least 3 times a week ... and break out in hives at the thought of exercise."

I saw one that claims to treat "the cause of the weight gain". Right, how's it do that? I take this pill and suddenly drive thrus will no longer serve me? "I'm sorry ma'am but you took that freakingly overpriced mail order diet supplement and now our registers won't let us ring up your order. I'm afraid you'll just have to go home and cook something healthy instead." Walmart will no longer let me buy cookies or cupcakes? "Ma'am, did you by any chance just take a fomods? Your cookie and cupcake purchase isn't going through. Have you thought about buying yogurt?" My truck will no longer let me park in close parking spaces and will only "fit" in spaces way across the parking lot from my desired destination to ensure I get at least that much exercise a day? "Damn fomods... I was sort of in a hurry. I don't have time to hike a half of a mile just to return a video rental."

Of course I do have a question. If you're male and you take one of those fomods, will it counteract your male enhancement supplement?

As you may or may not have heard, David Eddings died June 3.

When my kids were little, I tried to read to them but the children's books and stories we had bored us all to tears so I gave up. All was not lost though. They noticed me laughing over a new David Eddings book and bugged me to tell them what was so funny. I ended up reading The Belgariad to them. (I highly recommend The Pawn of Prophecy to anyone with children. One chapter knocks them out like a light. Unfortunately the series picks up after that so you'll have to set limits to how many chapters you can read at a time. They'll beg for as many as you have voice for.) Eventually we read The Mallorean, The Elenium, and The Tamuli too. The kids went on to read any and all of his other books on their own. I may have to hire mercenaries to retrieve The Rivan Codex from my daughter (or just give up and buy yet another copy). That my kids are avid readers now can in large part be credited to David and Leigh Eddings.

It's been interesting to hit my usual web sites and see so many people mourning his loss by rereading his books. So many credit his books as their introduction to fantasy. I tend to describe his fantasy series thus: Lord of the Rings is "the story". The Belgariad is the children's version. The Elenium is the adult version. The Redemption of Althalus is the condensed version. It's more than that however.The Eddings also made that story accessible to everyone and both easy to understand (Tolkien's flowery language isn't for everone) and rich with humor. When reading LotR you get lost in the beauty of the language(s) and the story. When reading Eddings, you visit with friends. He made them real.

His various obituaries use words like "foremost" and "iconic" to describe him. For many, I suppose that would imply "success" as a writer. I define it a bit differently. He made my children fall in love with the written word. He so captured their interest that my son battled his dyslexia and persevered against it. Today he reads even more than I do. I'm not sure about you, but I'd call that true success. So did he actually when I wrote to thank him years ago. He said that was exactly what he was aiming for -- to entice kids away from video games and TV and get them to read.

*adds The Dreamers to her already toppling "to read" stack*  It's his only series I've never read. Guess I need to get caught up.

Thanks, Dave. You'll be missed. Hell, you already are missed. You and Leigh both.

Is anyone familiar with the law that all ice cream must be shared with the cat? Apparently I'm being brought on charges for that one. Domino is through messing around. I mean, I knew about the pizza law (All pepperoni goes to the cat)... and yeah, I'm a habitual violator of that one too.

I guess I'm either going to have to take a course in feline law... or just get used to a life of crime.

So I'm reading Nora Roberts' Sign of Seven trilogy (highly recommended btw). Three childhood friends set loose some ancient evil / demon on their tenth birthday. Every 7 years it comes back and they have to fight it off to save their town. Each reappearance is worse than the last in intensity, destruction and death. The series covers the final showdown, if you will, between good and evil.

The fun part about it (well, one of the fun parts) is that the three and their respective love interests sing as they fight off this demon. They do it to keep their spirits up and to show it they aren't afraid of it. Songs like Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit", "Hello!", Springsteen, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins and Sheryl Crow. The big show down with the beast at the end was to "Love Shack" -- which turned out to really fit the moment actually [Bang bang bang on the door, baby (Knock a little louder, sugar)].

Kind of makes you wonder really. You're off to face down the Big Ugly. What sort of tunes do you put on your ipod for that?

This entry was inspired by a conversation that took place in the comments on a facebook quiz. If that doesn't warn you what to expect, I don't know what will.

I grew up reading fairytales. To this day, I can lose myself for hours at a time in Grimm's or Hans Christian Andersen's volumes. But sometimes you just find yourself saying WTH?!

Think about it, Snow White -- who didn't grow up on this tale (or the Disney version of it anyway)? Little girls dress up as Snow White for Halloween and fantasize about being her... and her foremost qualification for marrying a prince was that she made a pretty corpse. Evidently she was a beautiful enough corpse that he was willing to overlook the minor fact that she'd been living with 7 men before she "died".

Sleeping Beauty wasn't much better. She was asleep for a hundred years. So she was old and as good as dead. Didn't that prince even battle his way to her?

Necrophilia FTW?!

Then there's Cinderella whose most attractive feature was, if you can believe it, her incredibly tiny feet.  Foot fetish. Kinky.

Another point of confusion: Why is Beauty and the Beast perfectly acceptable .. but the furry fandom is shocking and reprobate? Ditto for Swan Lake and the Frog Prince.

As much as I love old fairytales, I really do wonder sometimes just what people were smoking to come up with some of them.

Okay, so I already have 7 books in my immediate "to read"  stack:  Black Powder War, Empire of Ivory, Victory of Eagles (all by Naomi Novik), Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman (which reminds me, I still haven't finished Good Omens or American Gods, hmmm...), Immortals: The Reckoning, The Beast Within, Beast of Desire, Night Huntress... Okay, so that's more than seven. The point is, that I have more than enough books to keep me occupied for quite some time, right? Which is obviously why I went out and bought a new one:  The Stowaway by RAS and his son Geno.

I've been looking to get back into reading about Drizzt. I lost steam and then interest somewhere shortly after Spine of the World. I've tried starting the series again at the beginning to try to recapture my interest but that's not really worked. DET merely left me with the profound impression that Drizzt had to be either autistic or mentally deficient. IWD alternated between entertaining and painful -- even though it contains my very favorite Drizzt parts ever, there is also much of it that I have no desire to revisit... ever. LotD bears up under multiple rereadings. But I  have no idea about anything after that since I bogged down hopelessy on the PoD.

I'm hoping that looking at Drizzt through completely different eyes and from an entirely different point of view will help jumpstart my interest in finishing the series... I mean I already own the books (except for the last couple). Seems silly not to read them -- especially given LE  and all that.

So after a frustrating past year in which I attempted to read many books and actually finished only a fraction of them, this year I'm keeping track of the books I finish just out of curiosity. I have no expectations of reading 50 books and no ambitions of doing so -- I'm not padding my to read list with short books to make it easier. Not avoiding thick books because they'll slow me down and keep me from reaching that magic number.

So far I've finished 5 books and am in the middle of two more: The Great Gatsby, which I'm reading with a friend (Kaffe, you better be grateful that I love you. I wouldn't read this dreck for any other reason.), and the third book in the Howl series, House of Many Ways. The kindest thing so far that can be said about The Great Gatsby is... it's short. House of Many Ways is not, but it is painfully cute -- and it's a vast improvement over book two Castle in the Air. And Howl and Sophie are, as always, teh awesome. I am surprised in every book that Sophie has not yet smothered Howl or done something else very unpleasant to him. True love is indeed strange.

I wonder if this will be the year that I finally manage to finish Strange & Norrell or The Black Powder War. In my case, Strange & Norrell could be referred to as "The Strange Case of the Larcenous Foot-notes" -- since I read along and follow the clue to read the footnote to explain what I just read.... and get totally sidetracked reading the footnotes until I've totally forgotten what the story was about and have to start over. There is obviously an art to reading this book that I have not yet mastered.

The Black Powder War is a rollicking good tale (mostly) from what I scanned of it. Unfortunately rowing that slow boat to China (otherwise known as Throne of Jade) totally sapped my interest and momentum in continuing the series. With Empire of Ivory looking to be somewhat depressing, I'm having difficulty motivating myself to picking back up where I left off here. I may have to resort to assigning myself chapters to get through it until the story picks up enough to draw me in. (Hey, it worked for Castle in the Air.)

So, is anyone else trying the challenge -- seriously or (like me) out of idle curiosity? What strategies do you use to motivate yourself to finish a book that perhaps is not as engrossing as you'd like it to be? Just curious.

Well, damn, book 5 is already out (Victory of Eagles). I guess I should get myself motivated at some point to catch up with the series. *thinks* Eh, maybe.

So I'm wandering through Wal-mart far too late at night, doing my grocery shopping. I take a detour through the book section looking for something interesting to read and spy a romance anthology called Beyond Magic. My taste in romance leans to the offbeat and I'm always willing to at least read the cover blurb on a paranormal romance... and besides one of the authors listed was Elaine Cunningham.

I don't read Star Wars (heresy, I know) and I'm burnt out on the Forgotten Realms... or it's just not as much fun without my son around to yell "Mom! You have to read this!" Whatever. At any rate, I  was curious to check out something different from her.

"Just so you know, I will curse you until the day I die for putting that image in my head."  Yeah, I'm with Molly on that one. I will never be able to think of Darth Vader quite the same again.  Puts an entirely different spin on the phrase "what a prick".

Other than that however (which was such a compelling mental image I had to inflict it on several other people too), Beyond Dreams was a very enjoyable story and I highly recommend it. In fact, if Ms. Cunningham ever revisits those characters in other short stories or novels, I'll probably have to make a point to renew the acquaintance.

For those who loved Evolution of Dance:



Now there is The Wedding Version:



Somehow I can't decide whether to be mentally scarred or just continue to laugh like a fiend and wish I'd been at that reception rather than some of the others I've been forced to attend.

It's almost Halloween. I know this because the Halloween candy is out. I'm not really a candy person. Too sweet and I have no concept of moderation (I eat till I'm sick and it's all gone -- not a good combo), so I just avoid it generally. But there is one candy treat that hits me in my weak spot and it's out now -- autumn mix mallowcremes. Two flavors of candy corn plus pumpkins. I love those -- and I don't dare buy them because... (see previous comment about the way I eat candy). I was doing really good resisting them, even with them on sale for less than $2... until my daughter spoke up and said "We want these don't we?" We've gone through two tubs of them now. (Only one per week though so still not bad.)

Walmart also put out peppermint stick ice cream -- which just so happens to be my very favorite ice cream flavor. I jumped on their "mistake" and bought it immediately. You see, peppermint stick ice cream (unless I wish to try to hunt down an ice cream parlor) is available only once a year -- at Christmas. My mom and I have been enjoying it immensely. I need to go get some more....  

Another sign of the Christmas season would be white fudge covered oreos -- still another weakness. Another treat only available at that time of the year... and one I dare not indulge in unless I am around someone else who likes them. Otherwise, I will eat that entire box by myself and ... yeah, no concept of moderation.

Is a good thing some of my favorite treats are available only in very short windows of opportunity. Otherwise, "big as a house" might be a euphemism very kindly applied.

Okay so the presidential electioneering is going on (or rather, the campaigning leading up to the presidential election). My mom watches the BBC World News and it's even the lead story on that. My brother constantly has some news show or another going just for background noise -- and that's pretty much non-stop election coverage as well. I don't even have to worry about media bias on the issues really. After all, I have both Paul Kemp and Joel Rosenberg on my f-list to make sure I'm seeing both sides of the issues and am well informed of what's spin and what's real.

And you know what? I still don't care. I am so militantly indifferent to this election it's not even funny. I consider Barack Obama a prom queen -- all flash and style; little to no substance. And McCain's response to this? He names another prom queen to be his running mate. McCain himself is by all accounts an unmitigated ass whose cause of death should be listed on his death certificate as "hoof & mouth disease". Oddly enough, that also apparently describes Obama's running mate. A prom queen and an unmitigated ass versus an unmitigated ass and a prom queen. You'll forgive me if I fail to see any discernible difference between our choices.

Oh, I'll vote in this election. And I'll be informed about the issues and vote for the man whose stand is closest to my beliefs. I'll also go with my gut -- as in, the man that makes me the least queasy about seeing him as president as I'm standing in the voting booth will be the one that I vote for.

Regardless of how it turns out though, this election will make history. We will either have our first African American President or our first woman Vice President. Never has so much history been tied up in such a lackluster package.

Reminds me a great deal of school textbooks really. So much history... and it's all watered down to the point that it's virtually worthless, just to make it "palatable" for everyone.

I'm a quiz freak. I get bored or frazzled or whatever and take quizzes to distract myself. I take silly ones to make me laugh (like "What Halloween candy are you?") or insightful ones that look interesting ("What family role do you play?"). I'm fully aware that they are not "real" -- as in, no more likely to be accurate than a newspaper horoscope. It's just fun to play with the answers; change one or two to find the "triggers" that will give you a different "desired" response.

But sometimes you just have to wonder what the people writing these quizzes have been smoking. "What felony are you?" W.T.F. Seriously.

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Ever have a completely crazy thought that you just can't shake for whatever reason? Here's mine:

Do you think vampires are a problem in Alaska? Think about that long stretch in the dead of winter where the sun either doesn't rise at all or rises only for a very short time.


Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

And another one just for good measure. I love this webcomic.

• It's kind of hard to avoid the Olympics when one's family makes a point to have it playing on every tv in the house.
  
• Mark Spitz is old now. When the hell did that happen?
  
• Championship doubles badminton is perhaps not the most scintillating sport ever invented. Or so my brother tells me. Fortunately I managed to miss that one.